Constantine Markides
CHASING WATER: Elegy of an Olympian (forthcoming from Akashic Books)

Education: BA in philosophy from Columbia and MA in English from University College London, both intellectually invaluable and financially nonviable (see “Work Experience” for details).

Work Experience (in alphabetic order): bartender, book reviewer, brain study subject, caretaker, carpenter, caterer, coach, conscript, counselor, editor, farm worker, fashion exec assistant, fish market packer, foreign correspondent, garbage compactor, gardener, grip, house painter, human rights researcher, journalist, lawn mower, library aide, lifeguard, literary agent assistant, mover, music teacher, office aid to Rabbi, proofreader, publishing intern, recycling inspector, road worker, sternman, stock analyst, stringer, substitute teacher, swim instructor, technology teacher, trail maintainer, transcriber, translator, tree planter, tunaboat crewman, tutor, waiter, website consultant.

Skills: Archaeological proficiency in the archaic newspaper and literary practices of late-twentieth century antiquity.

World Records: Most Connect Four Pieces Held in Hand at Once

Religious Affiliation: Affiliate with believers and non-believers alike. Unsettled by the possibility that God doesn’t exist and even more so by the possibility that he does.

Political Beliefs: Reject the politics of freedom fries. Opposed to all varieties of authoritarianism and illegitimate power except in own fiction, where despotic rule is the norm.

Philosophical outlook: Cynic with crypto-idealist leanings.

Moral Fabric: Highly variable.

Emotional Status: Mostly clear, subject to climactic disturbances and occasional pyroclastic surges.

Infirmities: Recovering egoholic who in moments of weakness lapses into former delusions of self-grandeur.